Saturday, September 17, 2005

Getting things done .... NOT!

We got up early this morning to "get some things done". HA!

First, we thought we'd get that slow leak taken care of in one of the Jeep's tires. We got to our favorite garage and it was closed. They must be doing a brisk business if they can close on Saturdays now. Good for them. Bad for me. So we thought we'd just stop at the Goodyear tire store instead. $40 to fix a leak! We said thanx, but no thanx, you can put the vaseline away now. Ah well, the tire can wait 'til Monday. We have a compressor to keep it full until then.

Then we thought we'd go to Lowes and look at exterior doors and pick up a few odds and ends. Sort of get an idea of what they have for doors and how much it'll cost. Nice stuff, we found what we liked but just aren't ready to buy today. Maybe next week. So we mosey over to gardening and pick up one new chair cushion for the one odd patio chair and on our way to the register we grab some screws to fix the gate.

The fellow in front of us was buying a rather expensive tool for around $1000 and the cashier was an old woman. Now I have nothing against old people. As a matter of fact, I'm an old person myself. But this woman stood there, staring at the computer screen, trying to enact an extended warranty for the guy and I thought after a couple minutes of her not moving (it didn't even look like she was breathing) well, I thought maybe she had died standing up or something. But then she moved and Nin and I, and the rest of the growing line of people heaved a sigh of relief. I don't know if it was because they were concerned for her or if they were worried about EVER getting out of the damn store.

The whole thing ended up taking about fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes! One register open in a super-sized hardware store on a Saturday morning? And the only cashier is a hundred and fifty years old? GACK! As I looked back at the line of people standing patiently, every single person rolled their eyes. I thought it would have made a funny, short-clip video. I stifled a laugh.

Finally, it's our turn. The cushion I had picked up didn't have a price. CRRRRRAP!! So I step out of line so at least one person can get through the register while I wait for Nin to run like the dickens back to gardening. There he rips the price off the box containing the cushions as not one single cushion had a tag or bar-code or anything. He gets back, out of breath, just in time for me to try my luck again with the human snail at the register. She scans in the torn piece of box and stares at the screen again. [insert crickets here] She looks again at the cushion, the bar-code in her hand and again at the screen. Then she asks me if I'm sure that the bar code is the correct one because - get this - she says, "This says it's for a chair.". -- WTF? -- "Yeah," I said, "It's a cushion for a chair." Hello? She proceeds to try and argue with me. I'm not going to argue. This damn cushion, these damn screws and this whole damn store don't mean enough to me to argue. I just smiled and said, "You know what? Nevermind. Have a nice day." And we left. I'm pretty sure I heard applause as the door closed behind us.

This wouldn't be complete without my mentioning a quick stop by McDonalds so they could screw up our order. I know. You're shocked. McDonalds screwed up an order. If they didn't screw up every third order all day, every day, the earth would stop spinning, time would cease to exist and the old lady at Lowes would still be standing there, staring at the computer screen when cockaroaches reclaimed the planet.

On the way home Nin said, "That's it, I'm going out for a drink." So he's at Pete's and I'm sitting here at my computer bitching and THAT, my friend, is what life is all about.


At 9/21/2005 09:22:00 AM, Anonymous WorkingForIdiots said...

Ah yes, tales of the consumer in these United States... Good things... Good Things...

At 9/23/2005 02:42:00 PM, Blogger Tawny Buttz said...

I'm telling ya, it's the Peter Principle at work everywhere!


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